Haha. I've been absent for some time.
Anyway. I'm hoping that I will be able to handle all this ruckus till April,
where I just drop everything and focus on malay, malay, malay!
June is all out for the other 6 subj.

All I'm aiming now is to:
- pay attention and at least get the basic foundation of all the subjects,
- train hard and improve for canoeing,
- to focus during mly dnc,
- buck up on malay
- and to remind myself over, over and over again that it is sec four now.

I am really frust and upset at myself for not being able to do well in malay.
I am malay. I speak malay. I live, breathe half the time with malay.
I am the only one in my family who is absolutely horrendous in malay. Honest.
I cannot achieve grades that are of people's expectations of me, which right now is an A2, at least.
As compared to my brother and sister, I am way below par.

Unlike them, I had not been blessed with my mother's flair of the malay language. They were blessed with it, I wasn't.
I had not been blessed with my mother's hardworking streak and willingness to never give up. Brother and sister did, I wasn't.
Yes, I know I am better than them. Even bro told me up front that I'm more clever than them. But yet, my morale is way below as I've yet to be satisfied with myself.
Whenever I achieve a good grade, I would always receive a bad grade the following week. Yes, for malay.

To add to the low morale, no one in my family did well in math. Sister dropped AMath last time, my brother did not even managed to get good grade for math and so, didn't even try AMath. Both parents didn't pass Math during O level.
I think I am the only one on my father's side taking AMath.
My mother's side are hardworking people. That's why there are good.

Yes. I'm the only sucker left.


Cousins, I need an outing. Imys!