Hello.
Last week (:
Me & Aqilah started counting the number of hours till school closes. Hahaa.
On Wednesday had English CT. Was like, easy.
The poem was like shocking, cos thought why like tersesat like that laaa.
I thought only like Grammar, Vocab and such..
Finished in ten minutes. And Mr Ang was like saying please check your paper please.
& after he collected the papers, he talked about checking papers over & over again.
Luckily I check, I had misspelled smthg. Heh.
THURSDAY !
Literature had role-play, which I soooooooo dont wanna do soon.
Then was DNT. Finally finished the circuit whatever.
Screwed the frame thingy to the wood & the battery case to the wood. Thought did worngly, but correct. Yay.
Art was yay. Cos I got 6 1/2, for the shoe drawing thingy ;DD
Science was about Chapter Seven I think. No test. Oh, fuck it.
Thenthen.
Malay Dance. Scary seyy. And luckily Im facing the board, not the mirror.
Or else I'll be looking at it, being utterly paranoid.
Then everyone started screaming cos of Syaiful's phone. Cikgu was telling her story, then the phone rang. Fulamak. Screamed like nobody's business.
I actually forgot that it was malam jumaat, until I got home. Hahaa.
Jerit mcm org giler tapi terluper malam jumaat seyy. Bleh gitu erh.
FRIDAY.
Mr Tee most caring teacher seyy. Fuyoooo,
CONGRATS MR TEE :)
Me & Aqilah lepaklepak. Didn't play until Mr Ang say to go play basketball.
After that was Maths. So everyone was like shouting& clapping.
Then recess. Had been stupidly hungry this few days.
Then concert. Okayokay laaaaa. Bleh tahan la kan.
Was too tired to go to FPS. && the time where we could go in was 1.15 till 2. Wth.
Went shoppg with Ayah & Ma. Bought Wedges ((:
SATURDAY.
Had remedial. But when I went to school at 8.30, no one was there. So went back home.
& was too lazy to change the school skirt to wear jeans.. So just went to Bdk Library wearing skirt. Semangat gituu. Hah.
TODAY.
The phone was ringing for a very loooooooongg time. Around 10+ .
Bro & me ignored it. Cos we thought Ma was home, but she wasn't. Sis was sound asleep, I think. Hah.
I took the phone & hung up. Apparently Ayah had called. Hah, sorry Ayah (:
Ayah. Im sorry.
I cant be your perfect little daughter or something like Kakak.
I cant. Im not her. Im also not Bro.
I cant be like them. Why did you have to say 'Why cant you be like Kakak & Abang?' ?
Yes. I know that I failed my English & Malay. Yes, I know I suck.
Yes, I know you & Ma want the best out of me cos Im the youngest. Cos you still have a kid in sec two & want me to pass with great marks.
Cos I know Bro cant backtrack & make you goddamn proud, Sis too.
I know Im now all you've got to be proud. But Im perfect in my own goddamn way, Ayah.
Yes, I know I wasnt good when I was younger and I aint even better now.
But Im trying. Im trying Ayah. Im trying to make you goddamn proud.
With all of my heart, I know you mean the best for me. But I aint your two elder kids. Im the youngest. And Im gonna stay that way.
Even if I killed them, I'll still be the youngest by nature. I'll still be your Nur Atikah. Not your Siti Farhana. Not your Muhammad Asyraf.
Ayah, accept me for who I am. I know Ma still hasnt. Well, a bit.
But I know she's trying. She's not shouting at me or goddamn fighting with me anymore, she's no longer comparing. Ayah, cant YOU do that?
No matter how many times you caned me when I was little, I've never held a grudge against you. I know Im no good. But gotta gimme a goddamn chance. Everyone deserves a fucking second chance Ayah.
Im no longer your little girl Ayah. Oh, cmon.
& I'll do it my own goddamn way
No matter what you say
Baby, it's my line
You've gotta live my life
Before you get a clue
About what I'm thinking about you.